Before March 2020, few of us in Britain spent much time thinking about death. The pandemic has changed all of that. As we approach the anniversary of the first lockdown, there are now hundreds of thousands of bereaved and traumatised families across the country and, indeed, many NHS and care home staff grappling with the heavy loss of people in their care.
Bereavement affects every aspect of our lives: practical, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual and financial.
Executive director
Bereavement affects every aspect of our lives: practical, emotional, physical, psychological, spiritual and financial. Without the right support people’s lives can fall apart, leading to further problems: ill health, debt, loss of employment, relationship breakdown, addiction, homelessness and, all too often, mental health issues. Grief is a necessary and natural, human response to loss – a journey that has to be travelled – a darkness that has to be faced, in order to reach a 'new normal' and a healthy, secure tomorrow. But if so many of us are grappling with traumatic and unresolved grief, there is surely a "tsunami of grief" approaching.
The good news is that if bereaved people find timely, satisfactory support most will grieve healthily and find a good way forward but ensuring that happens does need a better understanding of bereavement than most of us currently have, especially decision makers planning health services for the next few years.
So why is this of concern to all of us?
The nation's health affects us all and bereavement without good support can lead to poor physical health – loss of appetite, unable to sleep, stress symptoms and general lack of self-care. Mental ill health is also a concern. For those bereaved since the start of the pandemic, problems have been exacerbated with reduced access to health care and oversight by friends and family and there is a greater risk that grief will have been put on hold.
Lockdown and the social restrictions of the past year have meant that many have been denied the things that normally enable acceptance and the start of the processing of their loss. Some will carry on however they can, suppressing their grief, only for problems to emerge later. Others, without help, may find the darkness leads to depression, or other mental health issues. Some of those bereaved by suicide will, without good support, go on to attempt to take their own life.
Bereavement also brings with it loneliness, particularly in the older age groups and especially during the pandemic.
Executive director
Bereavement also brings with it loneliness, particularly in the older age groups and especially during the pandemic. Clinical Director of Cruse, Andy Langford, recently tweeted that "We're seeing lots more people come back to us who've experienced a bereavement perhaps years ago, but the full force of that, all the thoughts and feelings, have come back, partly because of the loneliness they're now experiencing."
As we emerge from this lockdown, we are likely to encounter many more people than usual in our lives and our workplaces who have been bereaved. And we will probably see an increasing number of people turning to the NHS via their GP for support. The impact of bereavement on this scale needs to be understood and planned for if we're to avoid large scale negative outcomes and increased demand for health services for years to come. And it will be good for everyone to understand that bereavement is hard, it is individual and demands understanding for however long it takes. However, negative outcomes can be prevented by encouraging self-help and signposting people to support and information early.
Signposting bereaved people to find early support and information is the way forward
Easy access to early and appropriate support is vital and can prevent mental and physical ill health. AtaLoss.org is the most comprehensive hub of bereavement information in the UK with practical information, bereavement services, helplines and helpful resources all in one place. It was established to enable bereaved people and the professionals that support them find support easily. By means of a simple filter system, the AtaLoss.org website uniquely helps people to find services that are appropriate to their age, the circumstances of their loss and their location, whether it be helplines, peer groups, counselling or useful reading material.
Many organisations provide a list of bereavement services, but they can never offer the full range, and tend to mention the same excellent national organisations with the result that waiting lists are lengthy. In any case, most people don't need counselling – they just need information or to talk to others who understand. In particular, finding people who have overcome a loss similar to them can bring hope, practical ways forward and personal resolve.
AtaLoss.org lists nearly 1000 services across the UK, covering the full range from national to local and specialist to general services.
Executive director
AtaLoss.org lists nearly 1000 services across the UK, covering the full range from national to local and specialist to general services. Importantly, we are in touch with the organisations regularly to ensure that information and details about services are accurate and up to date. The website also offers immediate free access to a qualified counsellor to talk to via a 'live-chat' facility called 'Griefchat', a growing library of practical information provided by experts and helpful literature and resources appropriate for all ages. Through our ListeningPeople project we also deliver specialist training on how to support bereaved young people.
This is an important time for working together to spread the news about the impact of bereavement. So please promote and encourage early self-help by signposting to AtaLoss.org. There's every chance we can prevent unresolved grief, ill health and costly negative outcomes and by so doing we can protect the NHS not just now but in the future.
If you have any queries regarding Ataloss.org contact jane@ataloss.org.
For ListeningPeople training, contact pete@ataloss.org
23 March is the anniversary of the first lockdown and has been designated a national day of reflection being co-ordinated by Marie Curie.
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